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These lines to make you smile (according to the subject heading) arrived via email. I'm putting up half of them this week. So then I can enjoy the rest of my temporary brain death for another week. Feel free to react :)

1. My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn't.

2. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.

3. Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.

4. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

5. Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.

6. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me

7. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

8. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.

9. I'm not a complete idiot -- Some parts are just missing.

10. Out of my mind.. Back in five minutes.

11. Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.

12. God must love stupid people; He made so many.

13. The gene pool could use a little chlorine.

For more Thursday Thirteen or to join, visit Megan and Janet.

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  1. Shelley MunroAugust 5, 2010 at 3:10 PM

    LOL - most of these made me smile.

    ReplyDelete
  2. DanielleAugust 5, 2010 at 4:01 PM

    Great List! Thanks for a morning laugh!

    ReplyDelete
  3. I am HarrietAugust 5, 2010 at 8:46 PM

    EXCELLENT!!! excellent!!! Excellent!

    Enjoy your Thursday!
    http://harrietandfriends.com/2010/08/wanna-get-your-car-stolen-get-an-escalade/

    ReplyDelete
  4. PamelaAugust 5, 2010 at 9:06 PM

    Great list - I'm smiling!

    ReplyDelete
  5. JennieAugust 5, 2010 at 9:06 PM

    Ha! Love #2. I think I've found my new motto!

    Those are great! Thanks for sharing.

    ReplyDelete
  6. ThomAugust 5, 2010 at 10:56 PM

    ROFLMAO!!! These are all a riot and most of them are true LOL Thanks for sharing this. :) Have a great day :)

    ReplyDelete
  7. Brenda NDAugust 6, 2010 at 2:24 AM

    Ha! I like number 4 about the handle on life being broken. Thanks.

    ReplyDelete
  8. colleenAugust 6, 2010 at 8:38 AM

    I like the first one best.

    ReplyDelete
  9. jillconyersAugust 6, 2010 at 4:50 PM

    A great laugh to start my day. Thanks!

    ReplyDelete
  10. Divaa DivineAugust 8, 2010 at 3:38 AM

    NO.1 is actually my reason for divorce :)

    as hilarious it is - it falls right for me :)

    http://2short2sweet.blogspot.com/2010/08/what-you-could-not-ask.html

    ReplyDelete

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